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🎠 I sure loved my carousel rides when I was a kid. I loved them so much that I led my mom, my auntie and my cousin to the exit, when they got lost at a Christmas market in Essen, Germany. Neither of us spoke a word of German and I doubt that my ‘eins, zwei, drei, Scheiße Polizei’ would get us very far (something like infantile A.C.A.B.). A little kid’s reference points and orientation marks are different than those of the adults. A five-year-old me saw a carousel ride with the coolest green crocodile at the very entrance. I must have been a pain in the butt as I was nagging about that croc for the entire stay at the market. To shut me up my mum told me ‘fine, later’. When they got lost, they started panicking and wandering in circles around the market. I was cool since I knew exactly, at all times, where the green croc was. But, I started worrying whether I’ll get that ride at some point, if at all. At the start of the fifth circle, I lost my patience, stopped, dragged my mums hand to a full stop and yelled that I would show them the exit if I could get a ride on the crocodile 🐊. My nervous wrack of a mum yelled back at me to shut up already with that damn crocodile. So I yanked my hand out of her grip and started running towards the crocodile. I thought, if I show them the way out I’ll get my ride. My mum ran after me through the thick crowd, with my aunt and my cousin in tow. After a minute of running I stopped in front the carousel ride, the big stairs of an amphitheatre like building leading to the exit just next to it.
– There’s the exit! Can I have my ride now?
My mum, all teary and relieved, came down and gave me a hug and thanked me so much for leading us out. I didn’t get that ride because ‘we were in a hurry’. That was 33 years ago.
What I’m trying to remember as a parent is not to make promises I’m not sure I can keep. And still, it seems to me that no matter how much I try to be around and provide care, love, affection and tick all the boxes from the experts’ advices on parenting, we are just unaware of the ways our kids will hold us accountable for things we should’ve done or failed to do. I am expecting to get that cold dish served to me somewhere around 2053. I guess reading latest studies, advices from magazines, and all that is great, but so is also just being around, and trying to do the best you can with your available energy level at any given time. Provide quantity time and quality time should follow. Unless you regularly knock up your sweetheart to give her something to do while you’re working on your career, or you got kids to secure the prolongation of your bloodline, or if you’re a selfish prick, simply put.
Another lesson learned is that we need to have reference points, we would be lost without them. We need those cool green crocodiles along the way who serve as tiny anchors that make changes so slow and excruciatingly painful. Changes brought by revolutions are like penicillin, they wipe away the good and the bad germs. Revolutions lead to all sorts of power trips – power vacuum, ensuing power struggle etc. I’m more of an incremental change type of person now. My strategy should’ve been a continued nagging to my mum back at the Christmas market until she would’ve given up. When your choices are bleeding ears or surrender, the decision is quite easy. Like my surrender after two years of my daughter’s nagging about getting her a puppy. I gave in two weeks ago. The best surrender. Ever! That’s the thing, defeat sometimes is a victory in disguise. Who says you can’t get practical lessons from Sun Tzu’s ‘Art of War’ from your kids?
I still reveal my cards too fast though. I reckon there’s no fun in waiting. That approach probably cost me the green crocodile ride. I guess my mum didn’t want to spoil me by letting me have too much of the good stuff. But seriously, have you ever seen a kid taking a ride on a carousel crying because they had too much?
What makes me feel a bit better about that croc ride is that we’re all stuck on a galactic carousel ride, about to start yet another circle around the Sun. And sooner or later, we all start crying because we’re having so much fun.
When I have that much fun, I need to remind myself to zoom out from the nano level of my everyday problems and get to the planetary joyride level. So, I’d say wipe your tears and enjoy the ride while it lasts, cause there’s only one way out of it.
As far as my mum is concerned, she asked me what I want for Christmas. I think it’s about time she pays her dues. Let me know if you see a green crocodile carousel ride somewhere. Now, I can at least pretend I’m sitting on the green crocodile next to my kids while providing them some quality time. It sure beats a grown ass man sitting alone on a carousel ride getting cops called on him. 🎠